My brain has been mush for a month.
Yucky, uninspired, dare I say even depressed, mush.
And writing, the process of placing nouns and verbs and maybe even adjectives in some kind of proper, sensible order, has been nearly impossible.
I have let the negativity at work once again seep through me and be fully digested. Once again, I am where I was six months ago. Will I have a job, or won’t I?
And I have learned something from this process of watching a corporate ship be run aground and the mentality of those at this particular helm.
I have learned how those who didn’t are blamed and targeted by those who did.
And I have watched and been affected by those with power using that power to stomp on those who they perceive as not having power.
This saddens me even more than the prospect of losing my job or having my hours cut.
And as I have watched this play of power, I have sadly wondered, will humans ever evolve past our original “eat or be eaten” hard-wiring?
But yesterday, as I was getting ready to go to work, I decided I was not going to let those whose hearts have been hardened, harden my heart.
And I thought about something I had found the day before, something I have held onto for almost three decades and that has delightfully reappeared in my life like a well to a desert wanderer.
My little brown box.
Inside this little box, written in my 19 year-old hand on now yellowing index cards are the words of the masters who have inspired me since I was a college sophomore studying history and literature. Words written by men and women who took life’s pains and delights and created beauty.
Inside this plain, plastic box is elegance and it is from this mucky place I am in and trying to work myself out of that I launch “The Brown Box Quotes” series. They are words that inspire me and keep my heart elastic and I would like to share them with you.
So without further adieu, I begin at the front of the box…
“The most serious mistakes are not being made as a result of wrong answers. The truly dangerous thing is asking the wrong questions.” Peter Drucker
Yesterday while at my daughter’s school I walked past this vending machine.
And I thought, the smell of grease that overwhelms me the moment I walk into the school, that’s okay. But a ban on vending machine use during the lunch periods, THAT is going to help solve childhood obesity?
And I shook my head in sadness at our complete inability to be honest about a problem.
And I thought, with thinking like this it’s no wonder we are where we are…
“We haven’t told the others yet,” my coworker said to me yesterday. “They aren’t going to take it as well as you did.”
“As well as I did…” Her words lingered in the air as I felt my mouth fill with what I wanted to say. And it all was very negative.
“Not yet.” I told myself. “Say nothing.”
I got up to get a glass of water.
But mostly I got up to get away. Continue reading
It’s been a tough week.
I have been discouraged by the negativity that sometimes seems to dominate our world. There are times it brings me down. Like all I see around me is madness and it makes me crazy, and sad, and I begin to feel like I am losing hope for people, for life.
Then this morning I reached out to a friend and told him how uninspired I felt. He told me to take three photographs of anything and send them to him with a caption.
I sat and thought about my assignment and in a flash it came to me.
So out to my backyard I went.
This is my little three photo essay of what gives me hope.
I am grateful for…
A pile of debris from the deck Neal and I demolished, for not only do I have the strength and confidence to remove the barriers in my life, but I have the creativity to see what can be in their place…
Recognizing that change can come in a form as simple as a can of spray paint and that change can make what was once old and ready to be discarded, fresh and useful once again…
That fertility takes on many shapes and that I can forever be part of bringing new, nourishing life into this world.
And of course I am grateful for a friend who helped me remember, despite all the negative stuff that is going on, hope is still everywhere, I just have to see it and then be part of sharing it, just as he did with me.