As I read this article on Slate this morning, I found myself at times unable to read the words. My reading comprehension problems weren’t due so much to the content which I was reading, but because of this persistent thought that kept going through my mind over and over again, as persistent thoughts do…
“I think I am glad I raised Teddy before there was much on the internet.”
Sure, without the internet and its blogs and forums we were isolated.
There just might be something to isolation.
Sure, without the internet there might have been less information available.
There just might be something to less information.
Because, oh my, we were spared the politics, the camps, the us v. them, the spreading of hatred, the spreading of lies. My goodness, I don’t think we lacked information, I think we were kept from misinformation.
It’s been 17 years since my son was diagnosed and it sure seems to me the medical, science and advocacy communities are as clueless about autism and how to get along as ever. But now the cluelessness is just a click away and can be brought into our homes at any time.
And there is so much anger. And so much grandstanding. And so many positions to be defended. And so much money to be made.
Instead, without the internet, I got to focus on my child without these distractions. I didn’t compare my child to anyone else, because in my world there wasn’t anyone else but the one other family we knew with an autistic son. We banded together, we needed each other too much. Although our sons were different, we didn’t compare. We couldn’t afford to. One other family with autism was enough for me because I didn’t have time and energy for much else.
And only since he has grown, in the fall of 2011, have I come to the internet. And even now that he is an adult, although I genuinely appreciate and enjoy the blogs of adults with Aspergers, I don’t use them to help me with Ted. No. Ted is Ted and he will do what he needs to do. I use them for me. To let into my life what I didn’t have before, to finally hear the opinions and experiences of a multitude of others and to be part of a community.
And I occasionally read what the mainstream media writes about autism, and when I do I am reminded of why I don’t do so very often. When I read this article today, and then ignored my own self-imposed ban on reading the comments left on Slate, I felt compelled to say something.
I wanted to reach out to the young mothers who are currently raising their children and remind them not to be internet dependent. Don’t get to the point where you need to read something written by someone else to allow you to believe your own instincts. Sure, read stuff, but as you do, make sure you listen to your instincts harder, and longer, and more earnestly than you listen to any doctor, any “expert”, any advocacy group, any author, any blog, any other person except your child.
You don’t need the internet to tell you about your child. You already know about your child. So please, please, trust yourself more than you trust anyone on the internet, including me. 
Thank you for writing this. The message is simple but profound.
And so is the author – simple but profound, not to mention slightly sarcastic!
I had a feeling you were going to have a witty reply about the simple part, but you know what I mean.
The door, it was WIDE open and I had to walk through it!
But all kidding aside, I love simple. I think simple is underrated, underappreciated. I think simple is awesome and I think simple is where the magic is but is so often overlooked because of its very simpleness. It’s all good my friend! 
I know exactly what you’re saying. When Tim was first diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer I sat in the hospital library and I read what I could, prognosis, diagnosis, treatment. That’s all I did. I knew what I needed to. I never looked again. I rarely had a chance anyways as we had no internet at the Lake. I read what I had to read from pamplets, I read about med interactions, etc…but never again did I go on the internet to look up anything more. I just didn’t want any of that “stuff” to get in the way of my gut. It can be a pervasive nuisance.
Paula you are absolutely right. All these articles and all these opinions and all the posturing can seriously derail someone and seperate them from their instincts. The internet can be a wonderful source of information right at our fingertips, but we must be very discerning about what we read and how we use it. Thanks for being part of the conversation.
I just read that same article! Wow. I’m not going to comment on it other than “wow,” you can draw your own conclusions about my opinion of it….
This is great advice. There is too much posturing, too many politics, too much money involved in all of this. Everyone has opinions, but at the end of the day, you’re right, it is about following your own instincts with your own child. Well said, my friend.
Thanks Erin! I too stayed away from the actual article. I just shake my head when I read those and tell myself I know better thant to be reading such stuff! It did though provide me inspiration to write about thinking for ourselves!
You shared this post with so much wisdom and heart. I agree. Every parent that faces any form of challenges in their family should follow their instincts and heart as well as find support in people they trust. The internet can be misleading and due caution is needed.
Thank you. Yes, you are so right. There is a definite need to develop a discerning self when on the internet. And always, before trusting anyone else, you should trust yourself and your instincts first. I just think those things shouldn’t ever be forgotten. I appreciate you chiming in in support of that!
Wow. I spend all my time saying, “Yay! Information!” and yet my ultimate finding is quite this:
“It’s been 17 years since my son was diagnosed and it sure seems to me the medical, science and advocacy communities are as clueless about autism and how to get along as ever. But now the cluelessness is just a click away and can be brought into our homes at any time.”
I stuff my brain with facts and look for patterns, I keep data and work meticulously to help our son. But he is just one child, with his singular profile. There is no easy answer that anyone place can give. Parenting is about raising an individual and nothing should be standardized about that. Can you imagine if “typical” parenting was so divisive? Oh, my!
As always, I love dropping in for a dose of wisdom and experience.
Lori
Thanks Lori. And as always, I love hearing from you because see, you are part of the online community that I have come to love. I am not sure I made it clear enough when I wrote this, but I appreciate greatly the relationships I have made through WordPress, I really, really do.
Thank you so much! I bumble, keeping up with social media. Yet, when I find that moment, the whole world closes and I can drink in another’s life with such zest!
Lucky! Lucky!
Oh I like how you express yourself!!!
On Sat, Jan 26, 2013 at 5:41 PM, Life&Ink