This is one of my favorite photographs, taken on one of my funnest trips and at the time it was taken little did I know it would become the catalyst for one of my life’s most illuminating experiences.
From this photograph I learned what it feels like to be on the receiving end of the hatred and hideousness that is racism.
See, I became friends with William on this trip. He’s the man in the burgundy shirt. He is a wonderfully kind and incredibly smart man I met in a taxi cab ride from Appleton to Oshkosh, Wisconsin. I was on my way to my first ever AirVenture. William, also a pilot and an aircraft builder and owner, was attending his 20th. EAA’s AirVenture, tagged as the World’s Greatest Aviation Celebration, is a big deal in the pilot world. Not only was I thrilled I was going, but I was beyond excited because I was there to receive a National award for the work I had done for my local EAA chapter.
I told William this and as a former EAA chapter President, taken by my enthusiasm, he offered to show me around during my three-day stay. I jumped at the opportunity. This photo was taken that first night we met. It was taken by one of the guys who works for Van’s Aircraft. Among the many people William knew was the whole crew at Van’s.
You have to understand Van’s Aircraft is very significant to me. It plays a big part in why I am a pilot today. The man who inspired me to learn to fly built a Van’s aircraft and I was there to watch him build it. Heck, I even bucked rivets and ordered parts for the airplane. And three years later, when the airplane was finished, I got to fly in it.
I decided then, because of that experience, I was going to learn to fly airplanes.
So there I was, five years after I declared I would be a pilot, and not only was I a pilot, but I was at the mecca of aviation, and within two hours of arriving in Oshkosh, my new taxi cab friend introduced me to Van “The Man” VanGrunsven.
Of all the aircraft designers in all the world I met Richard VanGrunsven. The man who designed the airplane that led me to become a pilot. One of the most influential and renowned people in recent general aviation history. The man whose homebuilt aircraft designs, according to Wikipedia, annually exceed the combined production of all commercial general aviation companies in North America.
And I was hanging out with him! And I had my photo taken with him and I was so excited to share this with my chapter, thinking that my fellow members, many of whom were building Van’s aircraft would think it was pretty cool I met Van.
So when I got back home I wrote a story about all my experiences as a thank you to my chapter for the trip, and for the lead photo, of the dozens of photos I shared, I used the image of Van, William and me. And instead of enthusiasm for having such a tremendous experience, I got a phone call from my chapter President and was told,
“The Chapter paid to send you to Oshkosh and you repay us, here in the south, by putting in our publication a photo of you with a black man.”
And in one single sentence I learned what I thought this group of pilots would appreciate, they didn’t. It didn’t matter that William was kind, and took his time to open doors for me I would not have been able to open for myself. It didn’t matter that he introduced me to an aviation legend. No. They never even saw those things. What mattered to them was only one very simple, very vivid, thoroughly blinding detail. All that mattered to them was the color of his skin.
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What an idiot of chapter President
Today it shouldn’t matter which colour or nationality you are 
You are absolutely right. I was stunned to be on the receiving end of so much hostility and hatred… and I’m not even the one he didn’t like!
Sad, when you realize how much some people miss of the world around them when they wear blinders.
You are right, Paula. Absolutely and totally missing out on so much wonderfulness. It’s shocking actually.
I would have been as surprised as you to receive that response. I’m still shocked when people tell me of incidents of obvious racism. I have rarely (never?) experienced true racism. I have heard the words and the cries of unfair treatment, but it’s usually by people just looking for attention…or money. Then I hear stories like yours and a few others and I can’t believe that people are still so blind. The world will be a better place when we all look beyond the surface to the soul of the person. It’s a wonderful and heartbreaking story at the same time. Congratulations on meeting your hero and on meeting the wonderful man who introduced you.
I was seething as he spoke to me and absolutely blindsided by his reaction. I can truly say I didn’t see it coming. Instead I thought I had done this really great thing. I did though, and I never let him, not for a moment, make me think otherwise. Needless to say, I no longer speak to the chapter president, but William is one of my very best friends. The cream indeed rises to the top! Thanks for your sharing your thoughts. I appreciate that!
You’re welcome and GOOD FOR YOU!
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What amazes me is how openly bigoted some people are. It’s like they feel entitled to be bigoted and have absolutely no qualms, self-doubt, awareness at all. Thank you for sharing this and reminding us that we still have far to go.
Kylie, you absolutely hit the nail on the head. He said all that he said with no shame, not a hint of embarrassment, he did feel entitled to express his thoughts and I let him. When he finished telling me how some chapter members told him of their upset with me, himself included, I simply replied, “So, you are accusing me of being insensitive to the feelings of bigots.” And added I had absolutely nothing to apologize for. Needless to say he had nothing else to say. I actually had the right response at the right moment… it felt SO GOOD!!!
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and for being a positive person!
When I looked at your photo, I thought, “Now, there are three people who are happy to be exactly where they are.” Didn’t know the story or how these people were related to you. But one thing was clear. Nothing was forced in that moment in time. Then I read the background, and it jibed. The ending, well, it’s just sad. I keep forgetting that that’s how some folks operate – fuelled by hate – and still, in this day and age…
We had a conversation recently, prompted by your post that followed the recent school shooting, about whether we need the bad or ‘evil’ in the world to exist in order to appreciate the sublime. Not sure, but I will say that you found the sublime and appreciated it, and when ‘evil’ showed up, the sublime, not only shone more brightly, but it made the evil look petty and ridiculous.
If you were a doctor I would tell you your diagnosis is spot on! This photograph is one of my favorites because it captures an extremely happy time, one of those just charmed, can’t go wrong times. I was on cloud nine this whole trip. Actually for two weeks before the trip, all the way through the trip and for a week after. Only when Mr. President called did I for a moment come down, and just for a moment. And you know, his call strengthened me and when I climbed back on my cloud I was even happier, because I faced evil down. I no longer have anything to do with this negative man, but William is one of my very best friends and thus the happiness continues. I don’t have time in my life for negative people, I just refuse to have that kind of energy around me any longer than I have to. I rather like life up on my cloud, I am a pilot after all!
You know, since I wrote you I had this other thought. See, I feel compelled to add a detail about Mr. President that I didn’t put in the post because I didn’t want it to be 4,000 words long, but before my trip to Oshkosh he was one of my biggest cheerleaders. He helped arrange the trip and made it possible for me to go, I have to say that, I really do, it seems in a way only fair to him that I say that and give him that credit. And that’s the thing, he was my supporter until, unbeknownst to me, I crossed this line, a line so ingrained in him, so deep, a racial hatred that was stronger than his friendship for me. He was willing to end our friendship over the existence of a man he never met only because of that man’s skin color. I am still to this day amazed by that level of commitment to hatred and to bigotry. I just needed to say that. Thanks for listening.
That’s hard to believe. But I’m thrilled you were able to find the right words in the moment, and not two hours later. Yes, those people aren’t worth your time. What an interesting take on the theme!
I assure you it is all true, although I wish it wasn’t. I am not sure I will ever forget the feeling of shock as I held the phone and listened to his words. I think, I hope, 29 years my senior he is a product of a different time. That is my lingering hope. And yes, when I saw the prompt, Illumination and looked through my photos this one jumped out at me and I thought it was the time to revisit this very illuminating moment.
Sad. So sad.
A sad drop of bigotry but in a gushing spigot of happiness.
An interesting question would be … “If you were male or if your friend was female, would you have received the same response?”
Inquiring minds would love to know!
“A sad drop of bigotry but in a gushing spigot of happiness.” I like that. Very nicely put.
You know, when I told this story to someone else, this very question was asked, and the questioner then went on to answer their own question. They believed Mr. President’s response would have been different. I can neither confirm nor deny that suspicion as I cannot even begin to think the way he thought. I do believe however that you too have answered your very own question and have come to the same conclusion. I see a pattern forming here!
People will always be people, seeing with their eyes instead of through God’s heart…we just always have to aim higher, in order to set the standard!
Absolutely. And when you have experiences that reinforce the goodness that comes from seeing with the heart, you just hope you can always live that way!
It both saddens and annoy me when people base someone’s worth using race and color. In today’s day and age, anyone who judge or treats someone unfairly because of skin color is both ignorant and wrong. Your chapter president and the likes of him is a racist and they should be ashamed of their actions. I’m glad you wrote this post because it brings light to the world that racism is still prevalent despite of all efforts to reeducate the “claimed” educated group!
Sadly, I learned that racist is alive and well. And at least in the south it just not as overt, and I am learning the vocabulary/code that is now spoken. For example, “Oh, that’s a good school.” I would hear this and look up the school’s test scores. They weren’t so good. Then when I learned more about the school I discovered it was mostly white. The whiteness of the school was the “good” that was being described, not the level of academics being performed. But when you hear “Oh, that’s a good school” that doesn’t sound racist, does it. But sadly, it’s terribly racist. Now, that is not to say everyone is racist, or thinks this way, fortunately, but it does exist and to say it doesn’t is complete and total denial. Thanks for being part of an important conversation. I greatly appreciate your comment!
Oh, how shortsighted and unkind of the group to say such a thing. You drove home racism to me. When I saw the photo, I was taken in by the happy and kind faces.
It was one of the most shocking experiences of my life and from it I have gone on to read thousands of pages of history and literature pertaining to civil rights and the racial divide. My eyes have opened to many a thing since that phone call and it is one of my greatest hopes that I am a bridge to unity not a barrier.
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Dear Life&Ink,
I enjoyed reading your post and the discussions that followed through the comments. People disliking other people because of their skin colour is a reality of our world – no matter how much we would prefer it wasn’t so, or how it shocks/upsets us. Difference exists: but the important thing is how we use the learning from it to expand our horizons and allow ourselves to experience the world and life in all its fullness and glory – which you seem to have done.
What the Chapter President said was shocking to you, but I’m glad that he did say it. This is usually the point where people start shouting me down, but bear with me. Racism can seem a rather abstract concept to many people. I believe such exchanges/discussions go some way to making the subject more tangible.
If nothing else, the incident allowed you to explore the matter and to be clear about the kind of people you want to associate with. It allowed you to state your difference of opinion and maybe, unbeknownst to you, you have planted a seed for the President to think about.
And I enjoyed your comment. Thank you for contributing to the conversation and for providing me with another opportunity to think through the lessons (hopefully) learned from an important moment in my life. You are correct in your assertion that racism is an unfortunate reality of our world. As much as an idealist as I can be, I also recognize that we divide ourselves in so many ways, perhaps it is a result of our hardwiring, a need to define in-groups and out-groups for survival, I don’t know. But what I do know is yes, what the chapter President said to me was startling and it was a call to arms so to speak. It aroused in me an instant and deep reaction, one I didn’t even know I really had as I had never been challenged in such a way. But I was compelled, I NEEDED to defend a person I knew to be good, to do what I could, at the moment, to champion kindness over hatred, and without even thinking, something that rarely ever happens to me, as I am someone who has a slow processing speed and needs time to formulate my thoughts and words before speaking them, instantly and spontaneously said the right thing at the right moment – “So you are accusing me of being insensitive to the feelings of bigots.” And with that the conversation came to an end. I don’t know if I planted a seed with him, but I do know that I have gained much from the encounter and my friendship with William flourishes while I no longer see the Chapter President. I hope I can always respond to what is inside a person, their heart, their soul, their spirit, as opposed to concerning myself with their outward characteristics. I can only hope. Thank you again for your thoughts and your insights, they were thought provoking and I like that!